Yesterday, Matt and I celebrated our 5th year anniversary.  5 years ago the day was filled with so much joy, love, and happiness I had never felt before.  We were surrounded by all of our loved ones who wanted nothing more than to share in our joy.  On our wedding day I thought about our future.  What would the next year be like?  How about the next 5, 10, 15 and so on?  How many children would we have?  Where would we put our roots?  All of these questions brought me so much excitement to find out the answers and more so, I would find out with Matt. 

I know the answers for the past 5 years.  It's been filled with wonderful memories, learning experiences, growing pains, and reaching many goals we had. 

Usually when we celebrate our anniversary we like to go somewhere special and take time out of the routine to make it special.  This year was different, it was special for a different reason.  This year we had a baby boy.  On Thursday I gave birth to our third child.  His name is Jacob and he was perfect.  My body just couldn't keep him anymore and he was born too early.  We had just found out the day before that we were going to have another boy.  During the ultrasound, I saw him move and suck his thumb.  I saw his little body and felt him move in me.  I wish that we could have had a life full of being together, getting to know each other, watching him play with Liam, being there for all of his milestones.  I know it isn't possible for this life, but I know it is in the next. 

We are still trying to work through all of the emotions and I know we will for a very long time.  Although we celebrated our anniversary different this year, it was still filled with a love I had never felt before for Matt and now for Jacob.